Friday, November 05, 2004

Liberal Humor - Cut us a break, we're bleeding over here!

This is a send up on the email Bush sent to his supporters following his victory (yes, once again, he won, accept it). The obvious edits are in blue. I know when I post this I am putting off half the audience - forgive me in advance....

We had a long night -- and we had a great night. The voters turned out in record numbers and delivered an historic victory (yeah, for gay-bashers, FoxNews watchers, and Ralph Reed).

I want to thank our supporters across this country. At every stop I asked you to make the calls, put up the signs, talk to your neighbors, making large cash donations on behalf of defense contractors, energy companies, and pharmaceutical manufacturers,. and get out the vote. And because you did your part, we are celebrating today. Thanks to you, we received more votes than any presidential ticket in history.

52% of America has spoken. And I am humbled (now there’s a verb you don’t normally associate with this guy) by the trust and confidence of my fellow citizens. With that trust comes a duty (kind of like the National Guard, but safer): I will serve all Americans more crap from Karl Rove and Dick Cheney, so help me God (there’s that word again). I am proud to lead such an amazingly ignorant country -- and I am proud to lead it forward into the abyss.

Reaching our goals will require the broad support of Americans making over $200,000 a year. A new term is a new opportunity to reach out to the whole nation and take every penny we can get. We have one country, one. Not two, not three, but one.

A campaign has ended, and our cause is renewed. The United States of America goes forward with confidence and faith (again). I can see a new day coming, and I am eager for the work ahead. God (wow, God must really like this guy) bless you all, and God (maybe even more than Rush Limbaugh) bless America. Did I mention God?


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